So how much rape is “too much”?

So how much rape is “too much”?  I heard this discussion by a Fox news interviewee–a woman, yet!– last week, and I’ve tried to set it aside and set it aside, but I just can’t.

Here’s the article and the quote by Fox News contributor Liz Trotta:  

“Defense Secretary Leon Panetta commented on a new Pentagon report on sexual abuse in the military. I think they have actually discovered there is a difference between men and women. And the sexual abuse report says that there has been, since 2006, a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults. Now, what did they expect? These people are in close contact, the whole airing of this issue has never been done by Congress, it’s strictly been a question of pressure from the feminists.

And the feminists have also directed them, really, to spend a lot of money. They have sexual counselors all over the place, victims’ advocates, sexual response coordinators. … So, you have this whole bureaucracy upon bureaucracy being built up with all kinds of levels of people to support women in the military who are now being raped too much.  “

I did some research on this topic for a novel of mine that’s coming out later this year, where one of the women has been traumatized by her time serving in Iraq, being raped by her fellow servicemen, and the numbers are staggering. For example in this article at Salon.com, a woman is quoted saying she carries a knife with her not to fight the enemy, but those on her own side.

Or this, from Helen Benedict, a soldier who wrote a book about the experience of women in Iraq:

One such soldier, Marti Ribeiro, was a third-generation Air Force sergeant who served in Afghanistan in 2006 as a combat correspondent with the Army’s all-male 10th Mountain Division.

Her story includes an account of being attacked and raped by a U.S. soldier in uniform while guarding a post.

After completing the shift and not showering to substantiate the attack, she reported it to authorities – only to be told if she filed a claim she would be charged with dereliction of duty for leaving her weapon unattended.

(Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1170559/How-female-U-S-soldiers-Iraq-growing-risk-raped-assaulted–male-colleagues.html#ixzz1mYuZXnLn)

Trotta’s point seemed to be that it was a bad idea to expand a bureaucracy to counsel and protect women in these situations from $5 million a year to $23 million a year to address the concerns of “feminists” who were complaining about treatment of women attached to front line units.

But are female soldiers any less important than male soldiers? Rhetoric surely seemed to be flying around that gay soldiers shouldn’t be in units because they might molest straight soldiers. Where does it become all right for male soldiers to assault female soldiers? When?

Young female military members that I know personally uniformly talk about how they are sexually harassed by males in their units, and even instructors. Does anyone remember Tailhook? It’s a poisonous atmosphere. Why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?

Trotta’s comment in response to the 64% increase in sexual assault isn’t horror, but a flip, “Now, what did they expect?”

I believe, Ms. Trotta, they expected that men who allegedly have honor while they’re serving our country would have basic human respect for women of honor who are serving our country.  If these men would keep their hands to themselves, maybe we could cut back that spending. Maybe if we didn’t spend our time blaming the victims for complaining about being violated, and spent more time punishing the men for their criminal actions (even ejecting them from the service for actions unbecoming a soldier), it would create a safe environment for anyone to serve, male, female, gay, lesbian, black, white….you choose. 

Could we exclude women (or any other group) from the front lines for their own safety? Sure, we could.

But why should we have to?

Want to win a free book?

Not one of mine this time, although I will be having contests later this spring to win some of my books as more of them become available–three more contracts signed in the first two weeks of the year!!

Instead, check out dark fantasy  THIS BRILLIANT DARKNESS by my sister author Red Tash:

Win a copy of it by checking out her interview here:  Good luck!

Ring out the old, in the new–the important part is in the ringing!

It’s always a toss-up at the end of the year: look back on the year that’s passed, or set that aside and concentrate on the year ahead. Or both. I think that’s the kind of year it’s been for me.

Personally, the year has been a hard one, as we’ve struggled with the issues of our special-needs kids, some of them improving, others not so much. The stress has taken a toll on the marriage, as so often happens. We’ve both retreated into virtual worlds, finding life we can control there. I suppose it says something that we’re still hanging together. Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. We’ll find out, I guess.

We’re getting older and falling apart a little more–but that’s the way of things. Resolutions for next year include to find a therapeutic pool exercise class handy, since the Lyrica didn’t work out. Fibromyalgia is such a frustrating condition. You need to get good sleep to bolster pain management, but the pain prevents good sleep. They recommend exercise, even when you feel like you couldn’t stand to move an inch through your aching muscles. Best practice for me so far is to take something for pain and just soldier through. Hopefully it’ll be better next year.

 Professionally, though, what a raft full of blessings! I scored a part-time job with the county as an attorney for families working through Children’s Services, that came with benefits and a regular paycheck. This opened up my time formerly spent chasing new clients to spend writing.

 I haven’t wasted that time, either. In 2011, I signed contracts for five new novels to come out in 2012 and 2013. This is what my new email signature looks like now:

 Also writing as Lyndi Alexander:
The Elf Queen, 2010 The Elf Child, 2011 and The Elf Mage, 2012, all from Dragonfly Publishing
http://clanelvesofthebitterroot.com
Triad, coming from Dragonfly Publishing in 2012

Also writing as Alana Lorens:
Secrets in the Sand, a novel of romantic suspense—The Wild Rose Press, April 20,2011

 http://alanalorens.com

Conviction of the Heart, coming from The Wild Rose Press in 2012

 Second Chances, due out from Zumaya Publications in 2012

 Post-apocalyptic YA Series The Color of Fear: Plague, The Color of Fear: Journeys and The Color of Fear: Survivors debuts in 2013 from Zumaya Publications

 It took nearly forty years, but I’ve finally become a novelist. Best of all, that last YA series is the book(s) of my heart, the one I’ve sunk my soul into. To find a home for it has been the pinnacle of the year for me. I can’t wait to work with editor Liz Burton and Zumaya and get that into print.

But not today. Today I’m tending to my neglected blogs, which have taken second seat to all my novels and galley proofing the last two months. I’m grateful to have had a plethora of guests on particularly the Clan Elves blog and my romance blog to help keep my readers entertained. I want to set a schedule for the new year to tend to each of them at least weekly. With four books coming out in 2012, I need to make sure people can find them!

Next week I’m spending reviewing Margie Lawson class notes and several other writing books I’ve purchased over the last six months and stalled off reading. I’ve got a lot of writing to do in the next year, and I want to make sure it’s the best it can be. I’m sure you all will let me know if it’s not!

In the meantime, I wish you all a satisfying 2012, in whatever flavor and definition that means to you. Our family will be celebrating a new arrival in the spring–one that’s not between two book covers!– so we have much to look forward to, as well as travel, family and hopefully some sun here and there. May you have many blessings come to you and find that the dream of your heart comes true.

 

Just when you least expect it…

Still not sure how I feel about this one.

Dad took Dr. Doo-Be-Doo down to the optical place at the Downtown Mall today to get his eyes checked and a new pair of glasses. I was in court, so Little Miss rode along with them. The Doctor finished his exam, and he and his dad ducked around a wall display to choose some frames. Dad apparently told Little Miss to wait on a chair inside the optical shop while they looked.

So I come home from court and Little Miss is walking up to our driveway.

Yes. Walking. Up to our driveway.

I climb out of the car, clearly puzzled, and ask her where her dad dropped her off. (We had an appointment after we got home, so I thought maybe he was running late and just dropped her nearby so he could be on time.) She said he didn’t drop her. Her explanation was, “I got lost at the mall.”

*blink*

So she wandered out of the optical store and realized she didn’t know where her dad was. Her response is TO WALK HOME, a mile and a half away, by herself. Her main comment: “It’s a very long way. I’m tired.”

Besides being blown away that she even knows how to get to our house on foot from the mall (thank heaven we always emphasize ‘which way do we go now?’ when we’re driving!), I’m now putting myself in Dad’s shoes at the mall with a missing autistic child. Holy cow.

I call his cell but he’s apparently on it, calling my office. So I call the optical place, and they track him down, practically delirious, at the mall, where he and the Doctor have been up and down the halls 18 times. So they come home and he’s growling and angry and amazed and grateful all at the same time.

What’s Little Miss’s response to him? Tearfully, SHE APOLOGIZES for making him worry.

I kept reflecting on this the whole time we were at our appointment an hour later, our first family therapy session with her big brother, who’s been in therapeutic foster care for three months for making us all crazy because he only thinks of himself, can’t take care of anyone, let alone himself, and wouldn’t know an empathetic thought if it landed on his head and split it open. Even in that session, he still couldn’t seem to understand what he did that set the household on its edge. And an apology for all the angst and tears? Forget it.

I guess that’s why they call it a spectrum. We sure seem to roll from one end to the other. We have now explained to Little Miss that better practice is to go back to the last place she saw the parent she was with, instead of leaving the facility. Hopefully, it’ll stick. But how can you argue with the safest place in the world being right back at home?

50,000 and counting…when WILL this story end?

The role of fantasy in real life

I composed several blog posts for the Interwebz this week, but the one that really caught my imagination was this one–WHO DEFINES REALITY ANYWAY, over at A Splash of Scarlet (click through to the blog). The topic is about how we have used the same techniques I use to create my fantasy and sci fi novels to push Little Miss into critical thinking about the world.

Like Newton Crosby, determining whether Number Five was in fact alive, we push and prod her imagination every day, expanding it just a little so she can interface with our real world just a little better. Come check it out.

One day, five hours and counting!

It’s almost that time!  Plot? CHECK. Outline? Check. Characters? Check. Now what….

Order coffee. from the Coffee Maven in Chicago–she’s got a special NaNoWriMo blend : Here’s what she says…The coffee will be the Coffee of the Month from www.coffeebytheroast.com.  Starting Tuesday, November first, the Coffee of the Month is Harvest Blend, a surprisingly bold and flavorful coffee, perfect for firing up brain cells for early morning typing sprees.  It’s also excellent with cream and sugar for late night word wars.
If you’d rather skip the books, go straight to www.coffeebytheroast.com.  Go to the “Buy Coffee” page and you’ll see “Nanowrimo High Test,” a high caffeine coffee sure to boost your writing to the next level.  Any one ordering a roast (about 18 ounces) of “Nanowrimo High Test” will also receive and extra ½ roast bag for no extra charge. That’s right, 9 ounces of coffee for FREE!  Better yet, if you’d rather try a different coffee, order any coffee on the website and after working your way through the shopping cart to the last page, type “Nano” under “Instructions to Merchant” before hitting the “Pay Now” button (or drop me an email through the website’s contact page).  I’ll add a half roast of Nanowrimo High Test to your order for no extra cost.   That’s it.  Order coffee, let me know you’re a fellow Nanowrimo participant, and get an extra ½ roast of coffee for FREE.
Please stop by and pick-up your FREE COFFEE.  It’s a great way to keep those words flowing.
Good luck and keep writing!

And this is incredible coffee.

Got the laptop powered full, got Jethro Tull picked out as preliminary soundtrack, got my court schedule whittled down for the week…

I think it’s a go!!

Fairies and wizards and elves, oh my!

A few weeks ago, one of my long-time readers and good fans of the Clan Elves series stopped in  while on vacation, bringing me inspiration for more fantasy work:

I’ll add this to the brown wood elf cookie jar and the other pieces slowly trickling in. Pretty soon my office will be a whole fantasy forest! Thanks Lynn and Jon!!