This weekend the Cabana Boy and I took a break. We left the children with my daughter’s day care business and we went out of town. Not far. Just to Pittsburgh. But as far as we were concerned, it was a world away.
Not only did we deserve it; our kids deserved it, too.
Respite is something a lot of parents of children with special needs hesitate to do. We worry about what might happen to our children in the care of someone else. We worry about what our unruly children might do in someone else’s care. We worry about …well, we worry about everything. That’s what we do, pretty much 24-7, and exactly why we need respite in the first place.
In the past month, I’ve been busy coordinating the dispersion of the children to their various therapeutic units, one from7-3 each day, one from 8-4 each day, one from 8-11:30 Monday through Thursday, and then arranging care or activities for the half-dayer the rest of the week. I’ve kept track of who needed what medication and when new needed to be ordered and picking it up so they had it. I’ve run Dr. Doo-Be-Do through a new evaluation so he can have some mobile therapy and TSS before school begins, per the recommendation of his camp folk. This on top of the usual, back-to-school shopping, my work, dad’s work, running a garden to feed a dozen people, and daily life with fibromyalgia. (I’m not even counting the book stuff. That should be icing. Kind of.)
So the Cabana Boy and I were a little whipped.
But by Friday afternoon, our attitudes improved considerably, just knowing the children would be well-taken care of, and we could drive south, debating plot lines in the Elf Queen sequel (which he’s very good at, btw) and feeling the tension melt as the miles passed.
Getting two solid nights’ sleep–priceless.
A little flirty, alone time? Ditto.
Shopping through thrift stores for special bargains without wondering who was getting lost and yanking on the sleeves? A real blessing.
But the best benefit of the weekend is coming home refreshed and able to handle all the threads that bind up our lives anew. I’m sure when we’re stressed and crabby, we’re not all that attractive to the children, either. So we could come home to them with new clothes for school and special treats, and they’re happy and we’re happy. Sounds like a winning proposal, right?
Hopefully you have family or friends nearby who can help you out with a night or weekend away. If not, there are professional organizations who provide respite services. This autism site has a valuable list of questions on how to choose a respite provider and some direction as to where you might go, if you don’t have anyone in mind.
The important thing is that you stand up for your chance to take care of yourself. Because when you suffer, so does your child. And no one wants that.