‘Attach’ed at the hip

So who remembers “Blossom” from back in the day?  The trendy little teen with all her hats? It seems that Mayim Bialik, the actress who played her, recently needed a makeover,  and will be unveiling her new look on What Not to Wear tonight.

What struck me about the brief interview above was her statement that she and her husband follow the ‘attachment parenting’ teachings of a Dr. Sears. They are apparently (gasp) “raising their boys without the help of a nanny or childcare.”

“It takes over your world,” she told People Magazine. “We’re always tired! But it’s the most rewarding job I’ve ever had.”

Wondering what dubious professional would recommend that people use their own hands to care for their child, I had to go look this up.  Wikipedia says “According to attachment theory, a strong emotional bond with parents during childhood, also known as a secure attachment, is a precursor of secure, empathic relationships in adulthood.”  Well duh.

The article goes on to explain how:

Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the children, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting boundaries and limits that are appropriate to the age of the child, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid the frustration that occurs when they expect things beyond their child’s capability.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for avoiding frustration. But really? Really?

What’s the difference between that and parenting? What we all do every day. Taking into account what our child is experiencing in order to make them feel safe and secure.

I don’t know about you, but I think maybe I should call myself “Doctor” and get my shingle out there while people are tossing money. Here’s to those savvy enough to do the right thing. Salut.

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9 thoughts on “‘Attach’ed at the hip

  1. Ah, yes, attachment parenting.. When we first became parents we met all sorts of new moms who never used a crib, had their kids sleep and be with them always. I never really got it, The Le Leche League is all about attachment parenting and unfortunately new moms who seek help for nursing get exposed to all the propoganda of attachment parenting. IMHO.

  2. huh? people write books on this? moreover, people READ books on this? zoinks! i need to write a book called “The Crabby Mom”. Bet i could make a million….

  3. I am all for attachment parenting but “the family bed” went a little far for me. Sure, let’s snuggie in the big bed but when it is time to sleep, I always felt, that that kids needed to learn to relax and calm down – by themselves.

    both my kids are excellent sleepers, don’t wake up in the night and love their cozy beds. The first slept through the night at 10 week and the 2nd at 5 months.

    And, guess what, I am much better parent with a good night sleep.

  4. There’s a lot of crazy theories out there right now about raising children. And people are making a ton of money off of them, too. Ever since the moment the Parasite was concived, I’ve been getting all sorts of things about how to raise him/her. Most of it is total BS, if you ask me. Dr. Sears isn’t the worst out there. Most of his ideas make sense, but some go a little overboard. There will be no family bed at my house. For one, I don’t want to roll over on the baby while I’m sleeping and kill it. Second, I believe that there should be some privacy in a family and the child will have a space and me and the French Boy will have a space. And I’m not sure how I feel on the idea of “limits” and Dr. Sears defines them. Yes, you can’t let a child run around doing whatever he or she wants all the time. That path leads to a criminal record. That’s not what Dr. Sears means, I don’t think. To me, it almost seems like he advocates stifling a child’s independence and creativity. How is that good for a child?

    Ah well, as said, he’s not the worst of the bunch. There’s the “Taking Children Seriously” theory where one is never to tell a child no, but instead reason with them as you would and adult. Toddlers are not capable of reason. If your 2 year old is insisting on shoving his or her kitten into the dryer and turning it on, are you going to reason with the child? If that child is pulling a pot of boiling liquid off the stove, are you going to take the time to negotiate? A friend of my sister’s tried this method with her oldest son. He’s now in 2nd grade and has been kicked out of school because he won’t listen to his teacher and his behavior problems reached a point where he was a danger to the other students. It’s not like with an Autistic child who truly doesn’t understand why hitting a fellow student is wrong. This child knows it’s wrong, but does it anyway because he wants to and knows that his mother will not make an effort to correct him.

    I only hope that most parents use a little common sense and not jump on whatever crazy theory comes out.

  5. We had the family bed.. they would come in in the middle of the night to snuggle and sleep.. it was the only way we could get any sleep. Sometimes you just have to do what works for the family and child whether you call it a form of parenting or not.

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