Almost two years ago, I got a tattoo. My best friend talked me into it, saying this:
I was thinking something small and delicate like Baby’s breath wisping through it would be pretty.
I will hold your hand the whole time!
AND….. if you want to hit me for any reason “after” you can.
It was another wild family story, actually, because we went en masse, me, my best friend, my daughter D, my daughter K, K’s partner, her partner’s sister, and her partner’s sister’s friend, all at once, to be indelibly marked. That was the fun part. Afterward, I did hit her. Because it hurt like HELL.
The tattoo is very delicate and pretty. One thing I wanted to make sure of was that I could enjoy it at least as well as everyone else, so that shoulder blade thing was right out. Also the ankles, top of the feet and so on. I mean, I’m one of the biggest babies in the world about needles, shots, etc., and by heaven, if I was going to suck it up and do this, then I would admire it every day. So I had them put it on the back of my left wrist, right where a watch face would be, so I can do just that.
The first year, I faithfully wore a watch from the time I walked into court till I walked out, to cover it up. My thinking at the time was that it wasn’t professional to have a tattoo. I even covered it for office visits from clients most of the time, a little twitchy about what message it conveyed.
But then as the age of 50 passed me by, I started to think about what it means to be “me.” This tattoo is a part of “me” now, always will be without expensive laser surgery. I decided they could all take me as I am, judges and clients alike, and I quit covering it up. Whether my hair is red, brown or gray, whether I’m fat or thin, whether I’ve got a tattoo or not, whether I wear a suit and tie, a bright summer dress, or slacks and a sweater, I’ve decided to be comfortable with me.
My doctor is a fabulous woman who comes into her office in jeans and a polo shirt. She’s conservative in her diagnoses and doesn’t dress to impress. I love her style. I hope I’m coming close to it. Hopefully what I say and do is what really counts to people, not what I’m wearing, or what my body reads.
I have been given an Excellent Blog Award from Jane at By Jane, and I’ve accepted with all due humility. The award was started by Shannon at Project Mommy, and the deal is, upon acceptance, I have to then select 10 worthy bloggers with whom to share the award. Most times when I find a blog I really like, I just add them to my blogroll, which ought to be honor enough, wouldn’t you think? No, really! But I have a few I’d like to nominate right now, with more to come as life progresses–because one thing I’ve learned over the last several years is that everything changes, day to day.
Odd One Out (although she’s having a bad day today, thanks to our lovely hosts at WordPress. I agree 100 percent btw)
Trailer Park Refugee Because she always makes me laugh with her wit and insight.
What We Need Because she tells her devotion for her son every day.
Brigitte’s My 2008 Blog Because she gives me a daily bit of art I would not take time for otherwise.
A Different Nest Because she deals with her kid’s issues like I do, from an older mom perspective, and lives to tell the tale.
and Wantabetravelin’s Weblog This one I like because the author isn’t a writer by trade, and is in fact very shy about such things, so it’s a display of courage.
So y’all can post the award or just hold it close to your heart forever. 🙂 Please link back to Shannon and choose ten deserving blogs of your own! I still have four more to hand out, and I’ll be watching for that random act of kindness.
Don’t forget the deadline for my blog carnival, Dessert May Come First–Or Not, is April 7! I’d love to get entries from some of your past pieces, you don’t have to write anything new. Have anything you think will be meaningful to other folks dealing with autism? Enter it here. Hope to see you there!