What is the REAL meaning of success?

None of my children want to follow in my footsteps and go to law school.

I’m thrilled.

I chose law as a second career, working first for several years as a journalist. I often got frustrated that writing about a problem didn’t seem like enough, that I had to DO something about it. My friend and mentor Joe Tomassi encouraged me to apply to law school at the University of Miami, and I did, thinking a single mother of two had no shot at acceptance.

But I got in.

Surprised, I applied for financial aid and housing, sure those wouldn’t come through. But they did too. Suddenly I had an apartment on campus, day care handy and a new bike to get to and from class. It was a sign. What else was I to do? I went to law school.

My fellow n00bs at law school were abuzz with questions. What if you knew your client was guilty? Could you defend him? Would you take on a lawsuit against the government? What if your client lies? Don’t you think my shiny new MBA will help my career?

We were all naive. Everything that first semester was black and white. What we learned by the time we left, three years later, was that the true color of everything is gray.

I can now walk into a courtroom with a mother OR a father, working OR stay at home, medicated OR unmedicated, convicted OR not convicted, and make an argument why he/she should or shouldn’t have custody of children. The law supports any of the arguments. You pays your money, you takes your chances. Since I work in a small town, sometimes I end up before the same judge in the same week talking out of both sides of my mouth. It makes me uncomfortable; but he understands how it is.

Fifty years ago, life was more black and white. People adhered to behavioral standards and when a lawyer had to argue middle ground, it wasn’t so slimy-feeling. These days behavior is much more gray. Take for example, the mother and daughter who found it appropriate to lie about a dead soldier father to win tickets to a Hannah Montana show. There the woman was, on the Today Show with her lawyer by her side, explaining how it was okay to do this “in the spirit of Christmas.”


I’d rather let my children keep their black and white world a little longer, leave law school for those with less attachment to truth and justice. They’ll be happier in the long run.

7 thoughts on “What is the REAL meaning of success?

  1. I still see a lot of things in black and white; most things, except for people. 🙂 I tend to describe people in terms of food. I’m sort of peach colored, myself. My roommate at school is the color of the outer rind of a pineapple. A girl I worked with in one of my previous jobs was dark chocolate. And then Michael Jackson of course is vanilla with a swirl of chocolate under the top layer.

  2. I just stumbled across your blog this morning and find it very interesting considering I was set on going to law school after finishing a BA in Creative Writing and now have gone back to writing and am looking to get an MFA in that instead.

    I think I would rather live in a world where I didn’t know about the corrupt, immoral things people do to get around the law, just as you wish for your children.

  3. Pingback: Dodgeblogium » Fools BOMS

  4. Pingback: Dodgeblogium » April Snow BOMS

Comments are closed.