The song that never ends

It just goes on and on, my friends…

No, this one isn’t about the election, but the offspring. All three have a major date with destiny in the form of school officials/teachers/doctors this week; it’s going to be a tough one.

We’ve received the results of Little Miss’s evaluation by the school psychologist, and even though we knew she had the deficits, it really is harder to see it in black and white. Most of her age equivalent scores are between age five and six; seeing as she’s nine, this could be a problem.

Although, there is an accidental bright side. One day last week, I’d set out Ditto Boy’s ADD meds, awaiting his appearance at the table, and Little Miss helped herself, because “she had a cough and needed medicine.” After the initial panic, I thought about how the psychologist was always saying she thought part of Little Miss’s problem was that she had attention issues (although sometimes the other issues make it hard to know which direction the problem’s coming from, you know?). So I called the school and explained what happened, just so they could see if it mattered.

Well. They were overwhelmed. She did great all day. Of course that wasn’t one of the days they did her testing, darn it. So she’s got an appointment to see the meds doctor this week, to see if he thinks it will help on a regular basis.

Ditto Boy has a re-up on his meds, which his teacher says make a big difference for him. (He’d been off the first month for assorted reasons.) But we got a call to have a teacher conference anyway.  Uh-Oh.

But the major news, as usual, is the Captain. Yes, Captain Oblivious has ticked off a number of boys at school, I guess, to the point where he has to be walked to class by his teacher for his safety. His grades are falling, he’s back to not turning in his papers, and this week–a detention!!

We’d been so delighted he actually made a friend, one who invited him over after school to play–one in our neighborhood!! I think I noted earlier that we had some concerns because this boy and the Captain met on the special bus, but the teacher assured us he’d be all right as a friend. Well, apparently this friend has taught the boy how to flip someone off and also a number of interesting curse words, which the Captain then dropped on some young men who were supporting the other political candidate for president and caused a fight. Fabulous.

Doesn’t seem fair somehow, to make such a social triumph a social disaster at the same time.  We’re working through it with his mobile therapist, but she’s starting to run up against the same wall we have all these years–nothing motivates him.

She said to me last week that she’d worked with an older boy, a 15-year-old, and he was just the same. “That’s just the way they are,” she said. And while I keep hoping and praying that things will come around, I see the chorus coming at us again. We’ll continue singing it forever just because…

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Holy Cow! Lots of EXTRA kind thoughts headed your way this week. Seems like you needed a few extra last week, too.

  2. I will be thinking wonderful thoughts for you all week Barb. I know that it is frustrating because I cannot remotely say I understand all you are going through having the medical issues your family has – – but I can say I care for you and mean it from the bottom of my heart and I am doing lots to try and understand how it all works to see if I can help in some way.

    There have been times in my life where I felt I took three steps backward, and another three steps backward, and another… with no forward movement ever. But eventually it came around. There are days where there is forward momentum. Know that these better days will be up ahead for you – I just hope you see them sooner rather than later.

    Best wishes and lots of hugs,

    Shawna

  3. You do have a lot to think about, and I wish I could write something comforting.
    You are a great mother for your kids, and even it probably can be hard to see the advantage sometimes, your kids gives your life more colors, and more understanding of other people, than most will get, I think.
    I am still looking forward to read your book about the family one day. Best thoughts all the way from Denmark.

  4. Hi Barbara,
    I’m an academic physician (formerly at Harvard and Stanford) who found your blog while looking for the best health writers. I think your writing is great! I would like to feature you in the Autism & Autism Spectrum Community on Wellsphere, a top 10 health website that has well over 2 million visitors monthly.

    If you would like to learn more, just drop me an email.

  5. Posted by LHJT on February 25, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Wonderful story. I am praying for you! It sounds as though you learn a lot about humans and what really should matter in people’s lives! God has given you a gift of understanding and you have used it how he has wanted you to… that is , to help others! Kudos to you Barbara.

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